It was a decision that would change my life. My body was sick, and the source of that sickness was the place I had always seen as the core of my femininity: my uterus. The surgery was inevitable, an act of self-care and survival. But it felt like I was losing a part of myself. How can you miss the most feminine part of yourself miss and still remain whole?
The physical pain disappeared after the surgery, and with that relief came room for other
feelings. Mixed emotions flooded me. Relief, because I was doing better.
improved. Sadness, because I had to say goodbye to something that had once been a source of creation and strength. Confusion, because I didn’t know what this meant for my femininity and identity. It felt like failure, like my body had betrayed me. And as if that wasn’t was enough, I lost something I had always taken for granted: the deep, free
connection with my sexuality. Where before I spoke openly and joyfully about my sensuality, now there was silence. It seemed as if that part of me had disappeared. My body felt different. My inner fire seemed extinguished. I wondered: Will that connection ever come back? Or is this part of my age, my new reality?
But somewhere deep inside lived a soft, indefinable feeling. It started small, like a whisper: a curiosity, a longing, an itch. As if something gently calling me back to myself. I decided to follow that whisper.
The Path of Healing
My journey inward began. I focused on my sacral chakra, the center of creativity, sensuality and emotion. I gave myself time to feel, to let the silence speak. With each meditation, each breathing exercise and each conscious movement, there came
a little more space. Old pain bubbled up – emotions I had hidden away for years.
But instead of looking away, I allowed it. I felt it, lived through it, and let it piece by piece.Then came the invitation to a rebirth event. Although I give Kundalini sessions myself and am familiar with this energy, I felt this was important. There was one last piece that I could not reach on my own. I knew this was the step I had to take.
The Enlightenment
The session was deep and intense. As the Kundalini energy flowed through my body,
it felt like my being was being touched in places I had forgotten. The session
became a sacred dance of energy and sensation, a reminder of what my body still
could still feel and experience. To my surprise and emotion, I felt so free and connected that I reached a moment of ecstasy-a sign that my body and energy were
were waking up again.
But what was truly transformative happened next. A facilitator, an embodiment of peace and love, came to me and helped me release the last bit of old pain. release. I felt how trauma and pain stored in my energetic womb – even without its physical presence – were removed. It was as if a dark cloud finally disappeared and the light flooded back in.
A wave of relief flooded me. For the first time in a long time, I felt complete, as if all the loose pieces of my being had reassembled.
Gratitude and New Beginnings
As I sat back in silence after the session, I felt nothing but gratitude. Grateful for my
own courage to embark on this journey. Grateful for the people who had supported me,
guided and inspired me. Grateful for the lessons life had given me – even the painful ones.
I realized that my femininity had never disappeared. It had always been there, waiting for the moment when I could reconnect with it. My sexuality, my sensuality, my creative power – they were not lost, but lay hidden under layers of pain and doubt. Now, freed and reconnected, I felt the fire within me burning again.
I know that this journey is not the end, but a new beginning. A life in which I can express my sexuality, femininity and power in a way that is deeper and more conscious than ever before. A life in which I give myself permission to feel, create, and live from my core.
My journey has taught me that healing is possible even after the greatest loss. It is a path
of trust, patience, and love for myself. And I have walked that path – courageously,
powerfully, and with an open heart.
This journey is not about perfection, but about connection. About rediscovering who I am, piece by piece. About embracing my new reality and giving myself the space to grow again.
To everyone who is also recovering, grieving or trying to find themselves again: know that you are not alone. Let’s remind each other that strength and femininity come in so many forms. ❤️🔥
