We all want to be independent and in control of our own lives.
Being responsible for our own life and happiness is crucial, because you lose yourself if you serve others at your own expense.
You try to protect your own life and identity while still feeling connected to another person – and that can be a frustrating combination.
We see everyone around us breaking up, which plants the idea in the back of your mind that you should be able to make it on your own. This, in turn, raises your expectations of what you want from another person.
By unconsciously placing various demands on a relationship, such as compassion, protection, sexual tension, financial partnership, friendship, and security, you quickly start to feel ‘stuck’ in a relationship. Or you feel you can’t do your own thing enough, the relationship demands too much from you, or it doesn’t give you what you need.
The secret is not to give yourself over to your partner but to love itself.
You can certainly adopt a service-oriented attitude in love – everyone may resist at first – but you can see service in a different light. When you both open yourselves up in service to each other, space is created for what you can offer one another, with attention to what the other needs to grow.
Since everyone’s days are fully planned, it quickly becomes about “you do this and that,” with all sorts of expectations, tasks, and desires. Partners can argue a lot about roles in a relationship. But that’s a shame because it’s about balance and feeling equal. Everyone brings something different to the table, whether it’s money, care, depth, space, comfort, gratitude, or inspiration.
The best approach is to see your relationship separately from love.
BEING FREE DOESN’T MEAN EVERYTHING GOES YOUR WAY, BUT THAT YOU CAN BE LOVING WITH WHAT IS, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.